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Judy Ann Swainson: July 16, 1957 to February 9, 2015

February 17, 2015 by Valerie Lugonja 32 Comments

A Tribute to My Sister

Judy Mckinney Swainson

I LOVED HER ALL HER LIFE

 

I loved her all her life

Though naive of knowing

Trying to love herself

When so young and growing

Her bright blonde curly bob,

Deep dimples, great green eyes

Won love of all she knew

Perfection, no disguise

 ABC

I loved her all her life

At home she felt so snug

With her family close

Secure, with just a hug

Long blond hair and olive skin

She grew into such beauty

Her path in life, uncertain

Yet, such a cutie-pa-tootie!

 ABC

I loved her all her life

Married, just out of school

Seamstress, decorator

Happy wife; certainly no fool

Discovered love and joy

The day her son was born

Embraced her motherhood

With grace

And yet her heart was torn

 ABC

I loved her all her life

Through great conflict and such joy

Valiant struggles, gains and loss

The light of all: her boy

I loved her all her life

Though naive of knowing

Trying to love herself

Through aging and slowing

 ABC

I loved her all her life

Yet love would not suffice

Pain was constant, growing…

Cost the ultimate price

Such warmth and love she gave

To strangers in her wake

Empathy, compassion

Authentic give and take

 ABC

At home she felt so snug

Ne’er ventured far away

I loved her all my life

And, she left us yesterday.

 ABC

So peaceful in her sleep

So beautiful, her rest

I stroked her silken cheek

And knew I had been blessed

 ABC

For I loved her all her life

Memories abound

Hilarious joking

And such fooling around!

 ABC

Oh, I loved her all her life

And, that love had an edge

As we sat upon it

I offered her my pledge

I’ll love you all your life

I’m here to hold your hand

You’re my baby sister

Come Judy, come, please stand

Rise toward the sunshine

Rise and greet each day

We’ll find joy together

Believe. There is a way.

 ABC

I’ll love you all your life

Wish you weren’t naive of knowing

Worked for you to feel my love

Still love you through your going.

 

My definition of love comes from The Road Less Traveled by Dr. Scott Peck:

“Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”

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Filed Under: Personal Stories Tagged With: Judy Swainson

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« Thermomix TM31 Customer Incentive February 2015
William Dugan Andersen: February 12, 2015 »

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Comments

  1. ragan says

    February 17, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    This is beautiful and shows your true love for your sister. This truly brought tears to my eyes as I feel your pain and your love. I know that she does too. xoxo Love Ragan

    Reply
  2. Brendi says

    February 17, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Valerie, my friend, my heart goes out to you and your family. Affectionately, Brendi

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:44 pm

      Thank you, sincerely, Brendi
      Hugs
      V

      Reply
  3. Margaret@KitchenFrau says

    February 17, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Oh, Valerie. I am so sorry, words cannot say. I am so sorry you have to go through such a deep, deep personal loss again. I am so sorry for the lost future together, and so sorry for the torn-apart heart, both for you and your mother. Please know that loving thoughts are being sent your way. I am wishing you strength and the finding of some small joy in happy memories, and large joy in the holding of your grandson to fill your heart up again. XOXO

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:46 pm

      Thank you so much, Margaret, for your heart and deeply soothing words. You understand. And yes, little William is most definitely the soothing balm within the depths of such sorrow.
      XOXO
      Valerie

      Reply
  4. Margarita Ibbott says

    February 18, 2015 at 11:57 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family. What a lovely tribute.

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 8:00 pm

      Thank you so much, Margarita,
      Your condolences lighten the load.
      Sincerely.
      Valerie

      Reply
  5. Hanne Roemer says

    February 18, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    Hi Valerie

    You are in my thoughts. I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your Sister. She was much too young. That is a terrible loss for you and your family. What a beautiful poem.

    Kind regards
    Hanne

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Hanne 🙂
      I still have not phoned you to thank you for the LOVELY COOKBOOK. I just LOVE IT. It has been quite a couple of months. Your warmth is deeply felt and so very much appreciated. You are quite a gem.
      Sincerely and with a hug,
      Valerie

      Reply
  6. Anne Waters (@amwaters) says

    February 18, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    Valerie, I am so sorry to hear you have lost your baby sister. Much love and hugs to you and your family as you find strength in the support from each other. Angels winging their way from Ottawa for you.

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      Judy believed in angels, Anne. She had them near her bed and often spoke of the one protecting her. Thank you. Thank you.
      I do believe they are leaving a path of their glitter as they fly our way.
      XOOXOX
      Valerie

      Reply
  7. Heath Needles says

    February 18, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your younger sister . I to have a younger sister and could not imagine my life without her in it. We shared the bottom bunk bed for many many years as small children .Now we are both in our 50’s with homes and families of our own – but the bond of sisterhood built of love and memories is strong and critical . Her existence is part of my well being as I am sure your sister was for you. My most heartfelt condolences for your loss. May you all find joy and tranquility in your memories of her .

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:55 pm

      Dear Heath Needles… I wish I knew who you were, or had a name for you. Your sister is sure lucky to have you. What a tribute you just wrote! Thank you for sharing the love.
      Hugs.
      Valerie

      Reply
  8. CKA says

    February 18, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    So sorry for your loss Valerie. Such a beautiful tribute.

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:54 pm

      Thank you so much, Miss Ginger. 🙂
      Ever so kind of you to take and make the time to send a little love our way. So deeply appreciated.
      Hugs,
      Valerie

      Reply
  9. Marion says

    February 18, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Keep her memory strong in your heart allways.I lost a younger brother to cancer in 2008 and his memory and love of life will stay with me forever.
    Namasta

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 18, 2015 at 7:53 pm

      Marion,
      Death is the ultimate mystery, isn’t it? I have lost loved ones, but until my dad passed away last January, I hadn’t experienced the longing, missing and questions that arose. We just met together for a dinner at the end of January in memoriam and it was so lovely. Two weeks later, we find ourselves facing the death of my sister. I can definitely empathize with you, Marion. You just don’t know, until you are there.
      XOXOOX

      Reply
  10. monica hanser says

    February 19, 2015 at 9:41 am

    So sorry for the your loss Valerie. That is a beautiful tribute.Very touching. Take care.
    Monica

    Reply
  11. Alana says

    February 19, 2015 at 10:13 am

    What a lovely tribute to your sister. I’ve been thinking about Judy a lot – she and I worked in the same office. Other support staff that I have spoken with have the deepest sympathy for you and Judy’s family. The same words have come from everyone I have spoken to about Judy: “Judy was such a nice person”. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Alana Ziegler

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 20, 2015 at 8:33 am

      Thank you ever so much for your words, Alana.
      They mean a great deal, and so much also to my mother and her son.
      OXOX
      Valerie

      Reply
  12. Laureen says

    February 20, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    I am so sorry to hear of your sister’s passing. Your tribute words are beautiful.

    Reply
  13. Diana says

    February 21, 2015 at 9:41 am

    I am so sorry Valerie. I found the pain of losing a sibling more gut wrenching than the loss of my parents. My prayers and condolences to you, your lovely mom and your entire family.

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      February 22, 2015 at 9:15 am

      Dear Diana,
      I am so sad that you have had to also loose a sibling. When died passed last year, I learned SO much. I thought I understood loss, until he died. Then, I understood loss. And, now, I understand sorrow.
      It is through our understandings that we grow to support others, and I so appreciate your support today.
      Hugs,
      Valerie

      Reply
  14. Mary says

    February 22, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    Dearest Valerie,
    What a beautiful tribute you’ve written, I’d say you were both blessed.
    Prayers and a huge hug to Edmonton.

    Reply
  15. Donna Sambula says

    March 10, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    I met Judy through a prayer page on Facebook. She became such a dear friend. She had one of the most loving caring hearts. She helped me through many trying times with just her gentle words and prayers. I had many late night talks with my sweet friend. We held each other up. I am so sorry to hear of her passing. My heart hurts. Never thought I can love someone that I have never met in person. But she made that a very easy task. I will miss her deeply. I am so sorry that you have to go through this and I will pray for you and your whole family. Fly high my friend! Xoxo

    Reply
    • Patti Martin-Duty says

      March 12, 2015 at 10:18 am

      What a beautiful tribute for a Beautiful Lady! I’ve only known her about three years but she touched my soul! Judy… I love you with all my heart! Until we meet again in Glory , rest in peace my Sister!
      Love
      Patti

      Reply
  16. Darlene says

    July 18, 2015 at 1:49 am

    My deepest condolences to you and your family Valerie. I only learned of Judy’s passing when I went to wish her a Happy Birthday via fb and I was shocked, I am still in shock. I also tried to call my dear friend whom I met a little more than 9 years ago. Judy was such a beautiful lady, I loved her dearly and I only regret how we kept on talking about getting together and never made it happen.

    This is a lovely tribute to your sister, your beautiful sister whom I’m sure is dancing with the angels.

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      July 18, 2015 at 9:22 am

      Thank you, Darlene
      It is unfortunate I don’t know her facebook coordinates to put something on there.
      🙂
      Valerie

      Reply
  17. Valerie Lugonja says

    April 11, 2016 at 7:33 pm

    Thinking of you again today. dear Judy – and often. We all got together on your birthday last July. Oh, what a blustery day that was. Vanja, Ragan, Mom and I met Denver and Sara in Clive. We drove to the graveyard to visit grandma’s site. Denver was going to bring you so mom could say her good-byes, but it was just too rainy. We had a dinner exactly a year to the day we believe you passed. Denver, Sara, Ragan, Mom, Vanja and I again. You live in our hearts. Life is so short, Judy. I had such hope for the two of us. Such hope!
    XO
    V

    Reply
  18. Donna says

    January 2, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    Hello Valerie,

    I am a long lost friend of Judy’s . I had met you many years ago shortly after Judy left Red Deer and moved to Edmonton . Kerry Garvin myself and Judy were the three musketeers !! All working together at the T D Bank. When judy left for the US I didnt reconnect with her until her return and she contacted me. We were FB friends and spoke a few times but I just found out through Kerry that Judy passed away last year. I knew of her pain and struggles and with tears of sadness I write this note to you.

    With Sincere Condolences ,

    Donna Petersen (Comeau)

    Reply
    • Valerie Lugonja says

      January 4, 2017 at 5:48 pm

      Enjoyed our chat today, Donna
      Big hug
      Valerie

      Reply

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